Choosing well
Nobody has everything. What they usually have is everything obvious, which is a different problem and a more solvable one.
The short version
Avoid: another version of something they already own well
Aim for: small, used daily, and slightly outside what they would buy themselves
Strongest categories: something written on, something for a bare wall, something carried every day
Budget: between six and forty pounds does most of the work
Why the usual advice fails
The standard answer to this problem is to spend more, or to buy an experience, or to have something engraved with a name. All three miss the point. A person who is difficult to buy for is usually someone with settled taste who has already solved their own practical wants. They do not need a larger version of a thing they have. They need something they would not have thought to look for.
Something they will write on
People with good taste tend to have strong feelings about paper and rarely buy it for themselves at the right quality. This is the most reliable category for a difficult recipient.
At the low end, a RO-BIKI waxed pocket notebook at six pounds, made in Japan, with a cover printed on waxed paper that creases and darkens in a pocket. At the other, a Japanese-bound A5 notebook from 23janvier at twenty-eight pounds, sewn with visible thread along the top edge and printed inside the cover where only the owner will see it.
Between the two sit letterpress note cards printed in Brussels in sets of five, small enough that a few words are plenty.
Something for a bare patch of wall
Even a full house tends to have one small stretch of wall that has never quite been settled. A pressed botanical is modest enough not to argue with anything around it.
The herbaria from 23fleurs are real leaves and flowers, gathered in south-west France and pressed by hand over several weeks, from fourteen pounds. Each is stamped on the reverse and no two come out the same. They arrive unframed, which leaves the last decision to the person who knows the wall.
Something carried every day
Small leather goods work well here because most people replace them only when the old one fails. A clasp coin purse with a brass frame, made by Kanmi in Asakusa, Tokyo, opens with a press of the thumb and shuts with a click. It holds coins, a folded note, earphones. It is not a wallet and does not try to be.
What to avoid
Anything with their name on it, unless they have asked. Anything requiring them to find shelf space. Anything that duplicates a category they have already perfected, which for most difficult recipients means candles, mugs and scarves.
And anything that comes with a long explanation. If the object needs a paragraph before it makes sense, it will need one every time it is used.
What do you buy for someone who says they want nothing?
Something small, useful and slightly better than the version they own. Paper, a pouch, a single pressed leaf. It sidesteps the objection because it does not ask them to want anything.
Is a gift card a cop-out?
Not for a person with decided taste. It respects their judgement, which is often the real compliment.
How much should I spend on someone difficult to buy for?
Less than you think. Difficulty is a matching problem rather than a budget one, and a well-matched object at fifteen pounds outperforms a poorly matched one at eighty.
Is a pressed botanical a safe choice if I do not know their home?
Usually, yes. It is small and flat, and it arrives unframed, so it asks for very little space and leaves the frame to them.