Paper
The blank card is harder than the gift. Here is a working method, and a set of lines that can be used as they stand.
The method
One: say the specific thing, not the general one
Two: keep it to three sentences
Three: do not apologise for the card, the lateness or the handwriting
Four: sign it properly, with your name written out
Why short is easier and better
Long messages fail because they run out of material halfway and finish on something borrowed. Three sentences force a choice, and the choice is usually the right one: name the particular thing you are thinking of, say what it meant, and stop.
Small cards help for the same reason. A card six centimetres across cannot be filled with padding, which removes the anxiety of a large empty space. It is one of the few cases where the format solves the writing problem.
For a birthday
Avoid listing their age or joking about it unless you are certain. Better to notice something about the year.
Happy birthday. This year suits you, and I have enjoyed watching it.
Happy birthday. Thank you for the phone call in March. I have not forgotten it.
Many happy returns. Same table, same time, soon.
With a gift
Say why you chose it. One line is enough, and it changes the object.
I saw this and thought of your kitchen.
Made by hand in Arita, which I know you will like more than I can explain.
For the desk, which I have seen, and which needs it.
To say thank you
Specificity is the whole trick. Thank you for everything says nothing. Thank you for the lift says a great deal.
Thank you for Saturday. The lamb was better than you admitted, and I have told other people.
Thank you for putting me up. I slept better in your spare room than at home.
Thank you for the introduction. It led somewhere, and I will tell you about it properly.
For a new home
Congratulations on the house. I would like to see the kitchen before you finish arguing about it.
A small thing for the new place. Put it wherever you have not decided yet.
For someone leaving a job
Good luck. You made that office better than it needed to be.
They will notice once you have gone. Keep in touch properly, not vaguely.
For sympathy
Do not reach for meaning. Say that you know, say one true specific thing, and offer something concrete.
I am so sorry. I keep thinking about how she laughed at her own stories before finishing them. I will ring on Sunday, and you do not have to answer.
Thinking of you both. I have no useful words. I am here, and I will keep being here in a few weeks when it is quieter.
Three things to leave out
An apology for the card itself. Nobody has ever minded. Saying sorry for a late card makes the reader manage your feelings.
A quotation. A borrowed line pushes you out of your own card. If you must, put it underneath your own sentence rather than instead of it.
Anything the gift already says. If the object is clearly chosen for them, the card does not need to explain the choice twice.
A note on handwriting
Uneven handwriting is not a problem. It is the main evidence that a person wrote it. Write slightly slower than feels natural, use a pen you like the weight of, and do not draft it three times. The second attempt is almost always worse than the first.
Every Ourooh order goes out with a handwritten card, which is why this is a subject taken seriously here rather than a filler. Letterpress and Japanese note cards sit in the paper collection, in sets of three and five.
What do you write in a card when you do not know the person well?
Something warm, specific and short. Name the occasion, name one true thing you have noticed, and sign your full name so they are not left guessing.
How long should a message in a card be?
Three sentences is a good ceiling for most occasions. Sympathy cards can be shorter still.
Should I sign a card from both of us?
Only if the other person knows and agrees with what it says. Otherwise sign your own name and mention them in the message.
Is it too late to send a thank you card?
No. Send it without apologising for the delay. A late card read properly is better than a prompt one that is not.